wanting.... longing.... needing

a thought... maybe this journey to becoming a mom isn't in my hands. maybe wanting to be a mom is forcing me down a path I've neglected to take until now and its forcing me to make sure I'm complete and whole and well and grounded and centered... maybe it isn't until all of this aligns that I'll finally find out that I'm pregnant. I'm still struggling with fear though... the fear that once all the other stuff aligns and settles that it will be too late.