trying to keep the stress away

It's CD 18 - 3DPO and the window has closed. For the first time ever I actually had a dream I was pregnant. I could see my belly in front of me, people knew I was pregnant, my husband and I where excited, I was feeling exhausted but we where ready and waiting for baby's arrival.

I can NOT remember ever actually dreaming something along these lines before and it has me feeling hopeful, excited and completely paralyzed with fear if I give it too much thought. I say fear because after the awful HSG experience I am so ready to just please god... finally be able to say "I'm pregnant" Please let this be the month that everything has lined up just right. We've got the HSG working in our favor, an O day of 15, I'm still working out a few times a week, acupuncture.... I'm sure there are others. BUT if this is not our month it will be devastating but I know we'll get through it and the next step is a cycle monitoring (plus an appointment with dr. HSG) so at the very least I know where I'm going next, I will have that to focus on. the disappointment though is that much more painful when your husband is right there beside you holding his breath hoping that finally this is it. I love him so much... he has been so awesome. This cycle I asked my ND what days she suggested for TTC... Sat/Mon/Tues..... Tuesday my husband had to be to work for 6am but he still woke me up for some baby dancing first thing in the morning. LOL we where both so tired but he wasn't letting the opportunity slip away. :-)

So in an effort to keep the two week wait off my mind (yeah right but I'll try) I'll probably disappear again so I'm not thinking about it. I haven't been keeping up with every ones blogs (sorry). Luckily I have lots of photo shoots on my plate for the coming week and a half, meetings, design work and yoga... every night it seems I'm home later and later but I guess that could have something to do with the darkness that's falling earlier and earlier :-( If you can believe it the next weekend that I have nothing scheduled.. nothing to do is Nov 28/29 but somehow I'm sure that'll change soon. LOL