All cleaned up after a trip to the doggie spa.
Tuesday, July 24
Daytona Tuesday
Just cause it's been so long since I've posted a picture of our furry kid... that nose... resting on my husband's seat as we head out on another camping trip.
Monday, July 23
An update - July 23, 2012
yup, been a very long time since I've updated (over a year.. how did that happen?)... but truth is until the last couple of months we've just been at a stand still... trying on our own with no success.
So here it is... not pregnant yet
Early May I had the laposcopy surgery... dr cleaned up endo from my left side and drained a simple cyst from my right ovary. Took me 4 weeks to get back to crossfit but that was probably more mental then anything else. I took a pretty hard blow from someone close to me telling me how to become pregnant... yes you read that right. So it still plays on me mentally here and there. Ok so lap done and cleaned up and ready to go... cycle monitoring with the fertility clinic.. At this point I had also lost 25lbs since the end of January! woohooo!
1st cycle after lap - same as always.. and ridiculous pain with that period... holy crap!
2nd cycle after lap - see dr something like the day I started my period. He doesn't outright say you have PCOS but it's certainly looking like that... I'm on metformin. Holy crap! I ovulate CD 13/14... my norm was always 18/19 so obviously my body is liking even this tiny dose of metformin. But my luteal phase falls short and I only make it to CD 25 before period starts again. Bummer!
3rd cycle after lap - today is CD 8.. did bloodwork already on CD 5 and everything was fine. I didn't feel like adding to the ultrasound techs Saturday morning line up of TTC ladies so I'm waiting till CD 10 to check on my follicles. And will probably have to go CD 13 and then CD 16 to make sure the biggest one is gone (and we're going camping this weekend... oy! Not exactly prime location for baby making). We're just doing timed intercourse at this point and continuing to monitor my cycle so we know we're hitting the exact right time of the month.. what a load of worry that takes off :-) ... My husband has a big course in September and will be gone for 2 weeks... so after that we'll be diving into cycle monitoring and IUIs with each cycle to hopefully speed things up if we're still trying. This cycle I've added vitex to my supplement routine and I think the RN at the clinic might also give me a progesterone shot depending on how blood work pans out. I like knowing that we're going to tweak something each month... I feel a little less like I'm just beating my head against the wall... you know? gotta get the luteal phase to hold on a few more days just in case this is what's causing me not to make it to the 28-30 day mark and possibly loosing a pregnancy.. I'm not spending time thinking about that though. I'll keep looking ahead and focus on one day, week, month, cycle at a time.
So I'm really hoping that this blog won't be sitting dormant with nothing to share for another year... my fingers are crossed that we're almost there! :-) I'm trying very hard not to take my foot off the gas until we get there.
So here it is... not pregnant yet
Early May I had the laposcopy surgery... dr cleaned up endo from my left side and drained a simple cyst from my right ovary. Took me 4 weeks to get back to crossfit but that was probably more mental then anything else. I took a pretty hard blow from someone close to me telling me how to become pregnant... yes you read that right. So it still plays on me mentally here and there. Ok so lap done and cleaned up and ready to go... cycle monitoring with the fertility clinic.. At this point I had also lost 25lbs since the end of January! woohooo!
1st cycle after lap - same as always.. and ridiculous pain with that period... holy crap!
2nd cycle after lap - see dr something like the day I started my period. He doesn't outright say you have PCOS but it's certainly looking like that... I'm on metformin. Holy crap! I ovulate CD 13/14... my norm was always 18/19 so obviously my body is liking even this tiny dose of metformin. But my luteal phase falls short and I only make it to CD 25 before period starts again. Bummer!
3rd cycle after lap - today is CD 8.. did bloodwork already on CD 5 and everything was fine. I didn't feel like adding to the ultrasound techs Saturday morning line up of TTC ladies so I'm waiting till CD 10 to check on my follicles. And will probably have to go CD 13 and then CD 16 to make sure the biggest one is gone (and we're going camping this weekend... oy! Not exactly prime location for baby making). We're just doing timed intercourse at this point and continuing to monitor my cycle so we know we're hitting the exact right time of the month.. what a load of worry that takes off :-) ... My husband has a big course in September and will be gone for 2 weeks... so after that we'll be diving into cycle monitoring and IUIs with each cycle to hopefully speed things up if we're still trying. This cycle I've added vitex to my supplement routine and I think the RN at the clinic might also give me a progesterone shot depending on how blood work pans out. I like knowing that we're going to tweak something each month... I feel a little less like I'm just beating my head against the wall... you know? gotta get the luteal phase to hold on a few more days just in case this is what's causing me not to make it to the 28-30 day mark and possibly loosing a pregnancy.. I'm not spending time thinking about that though. I'll keep looking ahead and focus on one day, week, month, cycle at a time.
So I'm really hoping that this blog won't be sitting dormant with nothing to share for another year... my fingers are crossed that we're almost there! :-) I'm trying very hard not to take my foot off the gas until we get there.
Wednesday, June 22
When do you give up?
Another month of disappointment. When do you give up? How many more times do we try when all we know is disappointment 27-32 days at a time....
I'm tired... but like any other month myself & my husband will pick ourselves up out of this funk and carry on... cause the idea of missing another opportunity now matter how badly the odds are stacked against us is better then giving up all together. But seriously... can we just once finally have a happy ending... just once is all I'm asking for.
I'm tired... but like any other month myself & my husband will pick ourselves up out of this funk and carry on... cause the idea of missing another opportunity now matter how badly the odds are stacked against us is better then giving up all together. But seriously... can we just once finally have a happy ending... just once is all I'm asking for.
Tuesday, June 14
Tuesday, June 7
Thursday, June 2
Me (1982)
This was in my Nanny's livingroom... she's in a nursing home now and the house has been divided up, cleaned up and sold.
Wednesday, June 1
Daytona Tuesday (belated)
It's too hot most days now but he loves to go in the truck with us... sorry dude... gonna have to wait awhile before you can run errands with me all day.
Tuesday, May 31
My hopes for 2011.. what's left of it
- start eating and moving as though I am actually pregnant... I need to step away from the desk more often then I do and respect my time to be quiet and peaceful.
- purchase another lens to add to my equipment in 2011
- network, network, network... keep building my business and make connections with people I can employ/subcontract to to ease the work load for when I need to take time away from my business when our baby finally decides to make their grand entrance into our lives.
- photography workshop - the flight is already booked I just need to pay for the workshop next and I'm laughing... I can't wait to take off from my routine and meet some new and exciting photographers the end of August. And of course spend time with my "big sister" relaxing.... workshop is 3 days then I'll have another 7 to chill and process the info from the workshop too :-)
- build up business enough so we don't have to rent the student apartment in our basement come Sept.... I want to move my office into that room making it easier to meet with clients without having them walk through my home and worrying about how clean the kitchen is... ya know what I mean?
- continued work with Daytona so we can walk past a dog without him mouthing off
- have fun! take time out to enjoy my amazing husband... we have some little getaways and overnights planned for the summer, some camping etc so I'm looking forward to working on just being present and enjoying being able to do these things with him. We celebrated 5 years married this month and I think I fell in love with him even more that night. He means so much to me!
and of course....
- baby, baby, baby... I just want to be pregnant and soon
- purchase another lens to add to my equipment in 2011
- network, network, network... keep building my business and make connections with people I can employ/subcontract to to ease the work load for when I need to take time away from my business when our baby finally decides to make their grand entrance into our lives.
- photography workshop - the flight is already booked I just need to pay for the workshop next and I'm laughing... I can't wait to take off from my routine and meet some new and exciting photographers the end of August. And of course spend time with my "big sister" relaxing.... workshop is 3 days then I'll have another 7 to chill and process the info from the workshop too :-)
- build up business enough so we don't have to rent the student apartment in our basement come Sept.... I want to move my office into that room making it easier to meet with clients without having them walk through my home and worrying about how clean the kitchen is... ya know what I mean?
- continued work with Daytona so we can walk past a dog without him mouthing off
- have fun! take time out to enjoy my amazing husband... we have some little getaways and overnights planned for the summer, some camping etc so I'm looking forward to working on just being present and enjoying being able to do these things with him. We celebrated 5 years married this month and I think I fell in love with him even more that night. He means so much to me!
and of course....
- baby, baby, baby... I just want to be pregnant and soon
My hopes for 2010 (revisited)
So obviously I didn't write something for early 2011 so let's just take a look at how 2010 wrapped up and then I'll create my new list for what is left of 2011
... continue with my weekly small business meeting with 3 other women as we support each other to grow our business and tackle this list of things we always want and mean to do but never seem to get to. Putting the procrastination book and fast track phototog book on the list of tasks with this group so they'll keep me accountable
~ this is always evolving but so far two of us are always checking in with each other and we've since added a new friend to the team... it feels so great to have girlfriends I can let my guard down with
... want to purchase a new camera body and at least 2 lens
~ I got my Canon 5D Mark II a couple of months ago :-) and purchased those 2 lenses in 2010
... I will keep up my yoga classes at the studio twice a week and a third class on Saturday morning whenever possible
~ yoga happens twice a week most of the time. I've put it in my calendar and schedule most of my meetings/appointments around yoga class
... to honour the importance Daytona plays in our lives. He provides us so much comedic relief on a daily basis he deserves a good play or walk as much as possible. When I think about a maternity leave I think about not having to leave him all day
~ we started some work with a new dog behaviourist and I'm happy to report that he no longer spends his time in the garage when we are not at home.. he's in the house.. chillin' on the couch or digging into his toy box of interesting toys he only gets when we are not home. We also give him biocalm about an hour before we leave. No more destructo dog! :-)
... emotional eating... continue taking steps, however slowly, to make changes in my relationship with food
~ baby steps... this is a difficult one for me and something I'm sure I'll have to work on my entire life.. right now I'm just trying to not beat myself up when I don't think I'm doing enough
I see 2010 holding a big change in terms of my job... the company is a little shaky and I'm either going to find myself on mat leave by this time next year OR striking out on my own again with my small business. Ultimately this has always been the goal... the job was to get the mortgage and then a mat leave we just didn't think it would take this long to get pregnant... that said I can't help but believe that everything truly does happen for a reason. Now that I'm being more active in my business and making it grow again and taking control of the things that left me blind to how well my business was or wasn't doing (hello! bookkeeping done for 2009 already and not in april 2010!).
~ well I did hit this one out of the park... left the job end of October and while things where a little slow in Jan/Feb. everything has been going really well and I have to manage my time carefully to ensure I stay on top of all my projects.
... continue with my weekly small business meeting with 3 other women as we support each other to grow our business and tackle this list of things we always want and mean to do but never seem to get to. Putting the procrastination book and fast track phototog book on the list of tasks with this group so they'll keep me accountable
~ this is always evolving but so far two of us are always checking in with each other and we've since added a new friend to the team... it feels so great to have girlfriends I can let my guard down with
... want to purchase a new camera body and at least 2 lens
~ I got my Canon 5D Mark II a couple of months ago :-) and purchased those 2 lenses in 2010
... I will keep up my yoga classes at the studio twice a week and a third class on Saturday morning whenever possible
~ yoga happens twice a week most of the time. I've put it in my calendar and schedule most of my meetings/appointments around yoga class
... to honour the importance Daytona plays in our lives. He provides us so much comedic relief on a daily basis he deserves a good play or walk as much as possible. When I think about a maternity leave I think about not having to leave him all day
~ we started some work with a new dog behaviourist and I'm happy to report that he no longer spends his time in the garage when we are not at home.. he's in the house.. chillin' on the couch or digging into his toy box of interesting toys he only gets when we are not home. We also give him biocalm about an hour before we leave. No more destructo dog! :-)
... emotional eating... continue taking steps, however slowly, to make changes in my relationship with food
~ baby steps... this is a difficult one for me and something I'm sure I'll have to work on my entire life.. right now I'm just trying to not beat myself up when I don't think I'm doing enough
I see 2010 holding a big change in terms of my job... the company is a little shaky and I'm either going to find myself on mat leave by this time next year OR striking out on my own again with my small business. Ultimately this has always been the goal... the job was to get the mortgage and then a mat leave we just didn't think it would take this long to get pregnant... that said I can't help but believe that everything truly does happen for a reason. Now that I'm being more active in my business and making it grow again and taking control of the things that left me blind to how well my business was or wasn't doing (hello! bookkeeping done for 2009 already and not in april 2010!).
~ well I did hit this one out of the park... left the job end of October and while things where a little slow in Jan/Feb. everything has been going really well and I have to manage my time carefully to ensure I stay on top of all my projects.
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