Thursday, October 22

trying to keep the stress away

It's CD 18 - 3DPO and the window has closed. For the first time ever I actually had a dream I was pregnant. I could see my belly in front of me, people knew I was pregnant, my husband and I where excited, I was feeling exhausted but we where ready and waiting for baby's arrival.

I can NOT remember ever actually dreaming something along these lines before and it has me feeling hopeful, excited and completely paralyzed with fear if I give it too much thought. I say fear because after the awful HSG experience I am so ready to just please god... finally be able to say "I'm pregnant" Please let this be the month that everything has lined up just right. We've got the HSG working in our favor, an O day of 15, I'm still working out a few times a week, acupuncture.... I'm sure there are others. BUT if this is not our month it will be devastating but I know we'll get through it and the next step is a cycle monitoring (plus an appointment with dr. HSG) so at the very least I know where I'm going next, I will have that to focus on. the disappointment though is that much more painful when your husband is right there beside you holding his breath hoping that finally this is it. I love him so much... he has been so awesome. This cycle I asked my ND what days she suggested for TTC... Sat/Mon/Tues..... Tuesday my husband had to be to work for 6am but he still woke me up for some baby dancing first thing in the morning. LOL we where both so tired but he wasn't letting the opportunity slip away. :-)

So in an effort to keep the two week wait off my mind (yeah right but I'll try) I'll probably disappear again so I'm not thinking about it. I haven't been keeping up with every ones blogs (sorry). Luckily I have lots of photo shoots on my plate for the coming week and a half, meetings, design work and yoga... every night it seems I'm home later and later but I guess that could have something to do with the darkness that's falling earlier and earlier :-( If you can believe it the next weekend that I have nothing scheduled.. nothing to do is Nov 28/29 but somehow I'm sure that'll change soon. LOL

Thursday, October 15

appointment booked

so as per Doctor's suggestion I booked an appointment.

Will be waiting till November 19th but I don't care at this point. I'm excited for a cycle after the HSG knowing that all is clear and looking good and I've decided that if we don't get pregnant this cycle then I will do a cycle monitoring next. If my cycle goes back to her usual 29/31 day routine then by the time I see the doctor I'll be well into my cycle monitoring at about day 16.

Today I got my "Fertile Day 1" from the ov watch and it's day 11 making 'O' day 15!!!

I'm relieved that I haven't taken such a long break from yoga and working out that my 'O' day didn't regress back to it's previous lazy day 21/23 standing. AND if we do succeed this month i won't have to worry about using clomid. *fingers are crossed* I think that if we don't get pregnant in the next 2 cycles I will do a round of clomid... perfect timing to get the script from the doctor too... oh wait.. how much is clomid?

Hopefully the flush out of the HSG will be just what my body needed to clear the way for my husband's lazy sperm. LOL Even he joked the other day that his sperm need a nap on their way there. Maybe they're just shy... thinking of trying that old stand by everyone says.. "just get drunk and do it" this weekend. LOL a little liquid courage.


Thursday, October 8

my HSG story

okay so let's talk HSG

I seriously did not think my afternoon would go quite the way that it did but first what's most important... all things are NORMAL!! woohoo

BUT holy fuck that sucked! My cervix was hard to get at because it was high and the dr. was surprised at just how high it was... I'm all opened up and ready but they can't find the radiologist... wasn't a minute or two before he showed up... dye injected and needed an extra push to make it's way through my right tube but otherwise all things normal.

during the test i just kept on breathing and it was not as I was anticipating... it hurt more then I thought it would and then came after the test... OMG!!

I stayed laying down, tried to sit up after awhile but oh no my body was having none of it and I laid back down, then I was crying, then I thought for sure I was going to be sick and then I threw up... sat for awhile longer and the RN decided I was not driving myself home (yes drove myself there) so we called my husband but he was an hour away and then we called my friend who also happens to be my ND and she said she'd be there in a half hour or so but then the Dr. decided to send me to the ER just to be safe (for pain and fluids I guess). So I finally get myself cleaned up and dressed and they wheel me down to the ER and registration and I get my blood pressure checked and then I'm sitting and waiting in the waiting room. I waited so long I felt fine again.... cramping when away finally so I asked to leave and they tracked down a Dr. just to make sure and I was out of there... and then my DH showed up and drove me home. He was delivering a boat (marine tech) 3 hours away (of course of all days!). So my appointment was at 1pm and I'm now home again and writing this post at 5pm.

I'm of course relieved to have it done but I can tell you with all honesty for a brief moment I was thinking "fuck this.. kids... no thanks" BUT now I feel like I did before my appointment... Ok and on the last day of my period. But I'm going to be relaxing for the rest of the night... to think I thought I'd be running a few errants after the test.. HA!

If you have an HSG coming up DO NOT go by yourself. PERIOD!!!

Monday, October 5

AF has arrived

FINALLY my period has decided to grace me with her presence. That was a very odd and long 42 day cycle and I'm very much hoping I never have another one of those for a very long, long, long time.

I saw my friend and ND yesterday for some acupuncture and I think that definitely helped my body do what I needed it to do... get my period. Now the wait to see if the clinic will still send me for my HSG this Thursday. Oh my this is fun... isn't it?!

I usually have 3 days of flow and a 4th day of light/spotting so I've just told the RN by email I'd leave it up to her.

Now to try and keep myself from curling up into ball and crying from these cramps. Think it's almost time to start popping the menst.ral tyl.enol... the heating pad isn't cutting it anymore.

*fingers crossed* that I can still get the HSG done this week or next... I just don't want to have to wait another month or two to get an appointment. :-(