Wednesday, July 29

fertility clinic

I got a reply to my email sent to the fertility clinic on Monday. I'm kinda excited about it...

1. she told me that I can take my husband's SA sample directly to the hospital 30 minutes away to the outpatient lab vs the collect as close to 12:30pm crap and drop off at lab to be driven to hospital 30 minutes away he and I have been stressing about since the first of May

that means we'll get it done and out of the way next week PERFECT!!!

2. consult is $125 and cycle monitoring is $120/cycle (blood work and U/S are covered by gov. thank you Canada)

RN said best time to reach her was in the a.m. so I'm going to call tomorrow to book a consult hopefully before my next cycle is due (Aug. 21/22) and then fingers crossed if SA is good I can get going with a cycle monitoring by the next cycle (if we don't get pregnant) to see what is up with my body!

melt down

last night was not good.. through a serious of events within a really short time span I had reached my limit for the day/week/month and lost it. One of those crazy throw something, charge away, slam door and sobbing, can't get it out fast enough, can't breath bouts of crying.

my husband is amazing, came to my rescue, holding me and comforting me on the bathroom floor as I sobbed. we both are hurting this month more then I would have ever guessed. my sister and her facebook status updates talking about her 'boo' and 'baby in my belly' are just too much to take and I don't need these unwelcomed reminders about her pregnancy. I blocked her on FB... little worried about possible fall out from that but I can NOT stand it any longer and she's only 11 weeks... I want to be pregnant and we want to start our family more and more as each day passes... maybe it's the 2 year mark that's breathing down my back that makes it such an emotional month... I thought I was OK... honest I did but even my husband sensed something wasn't right before I had even figured it out last night.

today I feel a little sick... like the crying wasn't enough... still more bubbling at the surface... my body is aching and tired. I wish I could be at home curled up in bed instead of this stuck feeling I have while trying to get something done at work from behind my cubicle walls.

Tuesday, July 28

second guessing

I'm jumping back and forth between a small business decision at the moment. A networking group called BNI (have you heard of it? belong to it?) Anyways only one person from a specific business can belong to a group... ex. 1 realtor, 1 naturopath, 1 photographer, 1 lawyer, 1 accountant... the idea is that these are a dedicated group of "sales people", word of mouth, that you hope will send you referrals and vice versa... The cost is high... with a weekly (must attend or send someone in your place) breakfast (meetings start at 7am) + admin fee + annual membership it's going to run me about $1500. I just can't seem to take that leap... I thought I could but I'm teetering on the what if's now.

...what if I can't bring in enough referrals to others because I only run my biz p/t
...what if the stress of being to work by 8:30am so my boss doesn't find out about my on the side networking efforts washes out my efforts to reduce stress in my life
...what if the stress causes me to have to wait even longer for our BFP
...what if I need this money for IF treatments or cycle monitoring or more ov watch sensors
...what if my husband does get laid off this winter
...what if I don't do this and I'm stuck in this job
...what if I can't get pregnant so long as I'm working for possibly the most stress inducing lady boss ever
...what if I never find my entrepreneur legs again and don't make the leap back into f/t self employment
...what if I get pregnant and then I can't get to these meetings every week at 7am because I'm too tired
...what if I get put on bed rest or something....
...what if
...what if
...what if!!!! I could go on and ON

The plan has always been to get a mat leave out of currently employer and get that 52 weeks at 55% of my current pay since you don't get that when you're self-employed. But I would never have thought that I would be in this job for over 4 years now. That we'd still be in TTC mode for almost 2 years.... (are we just not trying hard enough?)

It's a mixed up feeling/emotion kind of day/week... I'm so frustrated by not knowing exactly which way to turn at this point... so I'll make no decision and wait for some kind of light at the end of the tunnel for now.

When I was running my business f/t before I resisted this BNI group because I couldn't promote all 3 aspects of my small business and at this point right now I only want to promote the photography side as the other clients just seem to trickle in now and then and for now that's enough for me.

*** just got off the phone with a magazine I deal with for my employer *** She's a great lady and we've chatted quite openly about what is going on with her mag and what is going on here too in terms of how the economy is effecting our areas. She's sounding more and more uncertain about her industry and the print/mag industry in general as many advertisers are pulling back on spending and magazines with long histories go from print to digital. ***

I think I need to sit tight on this for now... maybe check the waters in 3 to 6 months. I can still go to meetings as a guest up to two times per chapter so for now I'll just keep on checking them out when I'm feeling the need to network. I need to focus on us and keep us above water and only focusing on being good to ourselves and getting that BFP we want so much. Recession or not no more on hold with the baby making efforts.

but I'm open to suggestions... thoughts?

Monday, July 27

Kellie Coffey - I would die for that

wow... okay get the kleenex out if you're going to watch this... another discovery from Family Passages


Smoothie

Something of a distraction as we count down the days to that next window of opportunity! :-) I can totally handle a 10 day smoothie challenge... I'm going to get going on my yoga at home too this month since my yoga studio is closed next week for holidays.

the next step

okay even though I've sort of been determined in the past that we're going to get pregnant before stepping foot into a fertility clinic I've decided that was just a cover for my being completely scared of said fertility clinic.

this weekend my most amazing and sweet husband was pretty bummed that we didn't conceive this month and he's going to get the SA done and out of the way but he asked that I contact our local fertility clinic to see if they make it any easier (I think I mentioned the craziness of this here before... collect sample as close to 12:30pm and drop off at lab so it can basically catch the bus to another city, oh and only on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Fridays).

So this morning I fired off an email to see about the SA stuff and also a cycle monitoring for myself to see what's going on... *fingers crossed* we get a quick response and then we'll take it from there.

I've got the ov watch locked and loaded with a new sensor and I'm kinda relieved I got the ick side of my period out of the way on the weekend rather then struggling to get through work all high on Tylenol and heating pad dependent. Hard to believe we're already on CD 4... last month we got a Fertile Day 1 on CD 17. And I've already scheduled a couple of acupuncture sessions loosely based on last month window of opportunity.

I also took my sister out of my news feed on FB so hopefully that works and I stop seeing this kind of crap....


this might seem really sweet to some of you and oh look she even changed the picture to be one of her and I... but my sister is selfish and this is only to bring attention to herself.... in her 27 years... it's basically what I've come to expect from her but at the moment I'm seriously considering just out right blocking her to save my own sanity and not have her words get me all fired up when I don't want to be. I find some comfort though in the fact that she has so many people from my circle of childhood friends on her friends list and not one of them has commented on her silly FB status updates.

Friday, July 24

nope

she's here... another period.

Fuck

____________________________

posted this to the side bar... where we've been and what we've (I) have tried to date...
- Started TTC Sept. 2007
- have taken a couple of months off here and there so I can't honestly way we've been trying full out for almost 2 years... just feels that way
- Oct. '07 - started temping
- Dec. '07, threw in the saliva scope too
- Mar. '08, OPK's used most months but not every
- Apr. '08 - stopped temping
- couple sessions of reflexology here and there
- May '09 - 1st visit to naturopath re: fertility + started Traditional Chinese Medicine (TMC)
- July '08 - handful of sessions with therapist
- Aug. '08 - stopped TMC, tired of taking 18 pills a day
- Oct. '08 - both started taking Fertile Aid
- Feb. '09 - stopped taking Fertile Aid
- Mar. '09 - started adding acupuncture to the mix + yoga 2x/wk.
- June '09 - 2 session of lymphatic massage + reflexology
- saw family Doc May 1, 2009 (SA requisition for DH and thyroid bloodwork for me)
- June '09 - bought ov watch
- July '09 - 1st cycle using ov watch, no luck
- July 24, DH still hasn't done SA and I have not followed up on my bloodwork but will cross both those things off the list this cycle.

Thursday, July 23

wanted to share...

I've been making my way through Sue's blog and came across this post.

Mind Body Fertility Connection
By: James Schwartz

"The fertility journey is about much more than bringing children into the world. It can be a pathway to personal discovery as we challenge ourselves to heal the old wounds and experiences that have been holding us back in life. It can be the achievement of wellness and balance of mind, body, and spirit. It can be a bridge to enlightenment as we learn to let go, be in harmony with the natural world, and embrace our connection with the universe. Any healing we do for ourselves, regardless of the issue, becomes a gift to future generations, as children learn by observing our behavior every moment they are in our presence. The healing we do creates a ripple effect, because our power and influence is felt by everyone around us.

The fertility journey is about learning to love and honor ourselves, standing in our power, choosing to nurture ourselves with wholesome foods and positive thoughts, building loving relationships, having patience, accepting the imperfections of life, practicing forgiveness, bravely facing our fears, and letting go of all the stuff in our lives that does not support our higher vision of motherhood."


The second paragraph is what really speaks to me today... today is another day on my path of TTC ups and downs... I'm feeling period-ish and of course the "wipe and look" has started (CD 30 / 9DPO)... some brownish but no real AF just yet... I'm hopeful but at the same time preparing myself for the disappointment.

I cried on my way into work today... just needed to let some of it out... with the first of the brownish stuff showing up late last night it's almost like a secret I don't want to give a voice to just yet... a bad secret that carries disappointment, tears, frustration, anxiety and fear of the unknown.

I never like to tell my husband until I'm SURE that yes it's that damn 'aunt flow' again. So tonight I'll go to my two yoga classes and I'll focus all my energy, thoughts and love to the possibility of landing safely this time on the rock just outside my reach or maybe this time the fall won't be so bad... maybe it will be easier to get up and brush myself off, replace the sensor on the ov watch and start again knowing that even with a new start, another cycle I'm one more month closer to becoming a mom.

Wednesday, July 22

a must read...

...for all fertiles who know those of us struggling with our own fertility.


Click on the image to go to the blog and download the article.

Sue Dumais is the founder of Family Passages Mind Body Studio for Fertility in Vancouver, Canada.

I guess for some reason I needed this article today since I stumbled upon the article and site is some random way guided by the internet. I'm half considering sharing this with my mom, sister, dad and step mom. Do you think it would be worth it? Should I even bother?

i have the SWEETEST husband

someone told him yesterday about some guy who has a storage space business... someone stiffed him on the rent and then the owner hasn't been able to get a hold of him so instead he's opened up the storage space and is selling off everything that's in it. I guess what's in it is new stuff because my husband said we're going for a drive this weekend to check it out... why are we going? because he heard their where eddie bauer strollers for only $50!

It always takes me back when he comes out with things baby related. It reminds me so quickly that I'm not the only one hoping so very much that this will finally happen for us soon.

Last week it was names... he said if it's a girl he'd like her to have the middle name Anna or (my mind is drawing a blank on the second..oops), his grandmothers first names, both of whom aren't with us anymore but had such an amazing influence on him... I think he really got that maternal love from his grandmothers more then his own mom most of the time. At Easter through our crazy driving to see both sides of the family weekend we took a detour on our way to see his parents and Opa to visit his grandmother & grandfather's grave (on his dad's side), but the talk was mostly about his grammy. I was so touched that he did that and shared it with me. We ended up being terribly late but it didn't matter, he needed to do that and we didn't tell anyone at dinner what took us so long.

I bought...

a bella band... found it on ebay and I just couldn't pass it up... the price was beyond a good deal... $5!!! I just hope I'll get to put it to good use sooner then later.

In the past I've worried about buying baby things and that perhaps I'm jinxing myself but I've only purchased about a drawer full of things. Things that are special and unique for the most part or a crazy good deal. Like the diaper shirts from the original NYC fire store, or knit booties that look like fireman boots (my husband's a volunteer firefighter), or the bjorn carrier that I scored on ebay at such a great price and a handful of other stuff. All these things where generally purchased in those early months of TTC and usually when I was on a shopping trip with my step mom and girlfriends. I'm not frequenting the baby section at Old Navy looking for the clearence stuff to pad the drawers of the dresser that will sit in the nursery.

I feel for the most part I've done the research, know what I like, what I want and what I wouldn't waste my money on or anyone elses for that matter. Now it's just a wait and see game. Hopefully we'll see that BFP soon and I'll know I've safely landed on the other side of that leap from not pregnant to pregnant! :-)

Tuesday, July 21

Zygote

so IF we caught the egg this month and are successful today I would be considered 3 weeks pregnant.


Pretty weird that this first couple weeks off TTC get rolled into that 40 weeks but heres to hoping!

CD 28 - 7 DPO

For some reason my mind kept wandering to home pregnancy tests yesterday and trying to visualize what it would look like to take that elusive HPT and get a positive result... it just feels like such an unattainable thing at times, most of the time... as though how is it possible that this could happen to us, for us...

It's feels like winning the lottery... maybe you play but still hold out little hope that you could win that big jackpot. getting pregnant just seems so foreign... like a lottery that I couldn't possibly hope to win or a place I can't see, or ever hope to visit. In this journey of TTC there have been more and more people around me now more then ever getting pregnant, announcing their good news, hearing about so and so is now pregnant too... and then you realize that you've been trying much longer then so and so and now she and her husband are almost at the end, waiting for their little one to arrive. Foreign!

I can picture what we'll be like as parents, the excitement of waiting for them to arrive, watching my belly grow, sharing the news with family & friends, I can picture walks along the waterfront with stroller or sling, weekends with my dad and step mom, the shock of sleepless nights, walking to the nursery to check on our sweet pea, tears, diaper changes, my sweet husband and baby fast asleep on the couch, I can see so much of what having a child will probably be for us but I can't get my mind wrapped around the actual HPT giving me a positive. I can picture it all except that leap from not pregnant to pregnant is too far for me to jump.

Monday, July 20

guess who's coming to visit?

...my sister!

yup she forwarded an email to both myself and dad's email address with her flight itenerary (nothing else written in the email just a forward of the itenrary... she didn't even call either of us to ask if she could come... I'm sure she thinks we'll all be tickled pink to have her visit and show of her baby belly. I'm pretty sure she's thinking "I'll be half way through my pregnancy and can go shopping in (city) and get so much more then I can get in (city)."

The dates are early October... a Thursday to a Monday.... a weekend that I've already booked up with work/photo shoots (ok so my nose is growing slightly but that's the story I'm sticking to until I decide if I want or can see her). And my dad and step mom might actually be heading east that weekend... why wouldn't she have bothered to ask us if she could come... if it was okay? if we where available? You'd think when you're dropping $350+ on a flight you'd want to know the people you're coming to see are going to be home.... right? am I wrong here?

Friday, July 17

tooth picks...

... I need some... to keep my eyes open this afternoon.

Up at 5:30am this morning to head to a networking breakfast as another small business persons guests.... it's a pretty big investment both in money and in time but I think I need to take this opportunity for me, for my business and for the possibilities it holds. Primarily getting out of the employee world and back into being a full-time entrepreneur. Just admitting that and being so close and ready to take this leap again, putting one fool over the line is freaking me out a little but at the same time I feel a little like the me I thought I was 4 years ago. Mortgage and bills will change a new small business owners perspective on the world... especially when employment made it so much easier to get a house and of course mat leave but who could have known it would take this long to get pregnant and get back to my small business on my terms? not I!

After work it's off to the salon for a hair cut and hope to veg out! Maybe a 20 minute nap to give me some zing to get the studio all set up before my shoot tomorrow morning.... yeah!!!

Thursday, July 16

texting

Sunday afternoon I get this text from my sister...

sister: so if i send ya some money via email will you pick me up some maternity pants at old navy? we don't have it here? side note: she's 10 wks

me: what about (city)? you probably want to be able to try'em on... just checked site... (city) has maternity stuff

sister: they do? I've never seen it in there

me: website says it does. maybe call them to ask

sister: I'll try them friday. i'm in meetings that day so on my way home I can pop in

this is the problem I have with my sister... she doesn't know how to do anything for herself. She has to travel to the (city) on a regular basis for her job... she could have easily called or checked website or just looked next time she was there. I can't imagine anything worst then going to old navy to shop for mat clothes for my sister and having the cashier say something like... when are you due? ah yeah these are for my little sister who didn't mean to get pregnant just yet. as if I don't have enough on my plate already with my own stuff

is she trying to include me somehow? talking with my dad this week it is very clear that in her 27 years here with us she only thinks about how everyone else is effecting her, how it makes her feel and NEVER actually steps back and acknowledge how her actions are effecting others. if her goal is to include me somehow (which I know it isn't really) then i would have rec'd a call with the big question about testing for downs/FAS etc and should she do it... this was the questions she had been throwing at my family but she didn't ask me that question. My dad didn't know what to think... I'm 31...he's been out of the pregnancy loop for awhile and didn't know why or what test she was talking about and got pretty worried about what she was up too till I calmed him down a bit letting him know it wasn't uncommon testing but the decision as I understood it was up to the parent.

In an email I rec'd from her last week she mentioned wanting to share her pregnancy with me every step of the way.... I haven't replied to it, doesn't really call for it but I don't want or need her to do that... if she pushes this share stuff anymore I'll put my foot down to re-establish the boundaries that need to be set but in the meantime I'm just kinda coasting along trying to make sure my focus is on us and to just shake my head whenever she comes up and move along.

Wednesday, July 15

what is that in my ear?

so last night I had a great class at yoga although slightly rushed as I didn't stay to enjoy shavasana/meditation but headed off to see my naturopath for an acupuncture treatment at 7... so 10pm rolls around and I'm at home catching up with my dad on the phone and I'm switching my cell from side to side and then I touch me ear... what the hell is that?!

We where talking small business networking the whole time pretty much and I didn't realize that my naturopath has placed 2 small balls to part of my upper ear, sort of inside with tape... I sent her an email last night... did you forget something in my ear or should I leave these in? LOL I got my reply this morning and was told it has to do with keeping anxiety at bay and to keep them in for as long as I can possibly stand... and ever since I found them last night I'm completely conscience of them... or perhaps I'm just conscience of the fact I need to breath deep and chill out for these next couple of weeks. A physical reminder if you will like string tied to a finger! :-)

I have another session with her on Thursday too... fingers crossed DH sperm have caught the egg and are getting to work! Last night on the drive home I had these thoughts of cartoon sperm hanging out waiting for the egg to make it's entrance... pictured them reading magazines, playing ping pong... like a bunch of guys hanging out in a college rec room or something. LOL Yes I know I'm a bit of a goof! But the thought just makes me smile and it's hard not to laugh and tell someone what I'm thinking... so I get to tell you instead.

Very excited about some new ideas and steps I'm taking with my small business... things are just kind of lining up with regard to a weekly networking opportunity and I think it's time to make the commitement to myself and my future in small business. That is the plan afterall to hold out in my full time gig, get my 1 year of mat leave and just keep on trucking with my small business, never actually going back to the full time job. I'm going to check out a meeting on Friday, very early in the a.m..... so we'll see!

Tuesday, July 14

therapy

at a quick glance at my older posts it doesn't look like I've talked about my session with my therapist... which honestly people if you don't have a therapist this just translate to a really great chat or release with someone who won't judge.

So to sum up my session... I'm OK. LOL We had a good laugh towards the end of the session because she pretty much said she was very worried (told her briefly in an email that I wanted to see her because my younger sister is pregnant) about me and how my sister's pregnancy might effect just how well I am doing. But she was really surprised and pleased with the way I was handling it and that I was able to separate her pregnancy from my own life and happiness. Yeah sure I'm going to get a little bummed at times with my sister's pregnancy and whatever might be thrown at me in a text (like the one I got the other day asking me to go buy her some maternity clothes at old navy... ah NO... you can get them in your province albeit it's a 2 hour drive but still... come on, she makes the trip to that city every week for work!), email or over the phone but she is in another province and I don't have to see her regularly.. the situation as it stands now... couldn't be more perfect.

I have basically decided that if being pregnant right this second meant being in a relationship like the one my sister is in... then I don't want it. Over the last few months my sister and her fiance have been on the brink of a break up, my sister complaining and cry about how her fiance isn't being there for her and taking care of their home etc and they also decided to post pone their wedding which was previously going to be Sept. 5, 09. I do want her to be happy, and succeed and I hope that her relationship will survive the biggest challenge of their lives as they wait for this little one to arrive.

Okay back to me... ov watch is now at Ovulation day 1... I've entered our baby dancing details into my fertilityfriend.com account and we got a score of 'good' (score can be low, good or high).... I'll take that this month.... also on Sunday I felt a bit tender on the right side of my abdomen... so maybe that was ovulation pain? who knows... I've feeling good about our window this month and now the waiting starts before just maybe I'll make it far enough to use one of the pregnancy tests I've had on hand since we started this journey... yeah... since we started. I bought a bunch from early-pregnancy-tests.com way back in the fall of 2007... I looked at them last week and they expire Jan. 2010... which makes me laugh but in a truly "I'm so sad" kinda way. LOL

Tonight I have yoga and then it's time for some acupuncture. My naturopath and friend was so sweet to answer my emails on a Friday night "the watch said it's go time when should I schedule some acupuncture!" So I've got a session tonight and one scheduled from Thursday but I'm sure she'll let me know if I need to keep that session or not.

AND so proud of myself I filed ALL the papers/bills etc that where on my desk.. I had sorted them previously by business, personal and husband and then last night it took me an hour to put them into their respective files in the filing cabinet. Also in that hour I sorted receipts and filed'em and did some shredding. One more thing crossed OFF my list of to do's!!! woohooo :-)

Monday, July 13

another week

here we go... another week... I want so much to make it a productive one. I seem to be struggling in crossing things off the to do list and it's starting to get to me. It's as though there is so much to do (or that I want to do) that when I sit down to work I can't seem to really get going and end up piddling around on the internet and being absolutely distracted by anything and everything that doesn't need to be done RIGHT now.

So I need to bite off a smaller chunk, a piece at a time but which piece? Of course while being distracted yesterday I remembered a podcast my gf Margie had mentioned (Hi Margie!) on productivity/workflow and I decided to download that and listen as I tried to get my work mojo going but then it pointed me to new tools for organization and to do lists (which makes my mouth water with excitement.. yeah I'm a geek like that) and then I was off downloading and learning about a new program to keep me organized and productive. So eventually I just decided after about 4 hours of accomplishing little that I was just going to step away... get out of my office and enjoy dinner with my husband and do 2 loads of laundry so I felt like I got something done yesterday.

Now time to do some employer related work and cross some of those things off the list too....

Friday, July 10

touch

Last night I was a bight of a keener and took not one but two yoga classes but in my defense it was two pretty wonderfully simple classes.

First up Foundations... continued learning of the basics, to work into the pose, mindful of breath, of thought and self... lovely. Then I decided to run a few errants as I had an hour and a half to kill before the next one at 8:30pm... Restorative!

OMG! This is only the second time I've taken Melanie's class (being that I live another 30 minutes north of my place of work I never want to do double the driving in one day) and I'm SO hooked... restorative is kinda like giving yourself the most special gift you could give. A wonderful series of stretches, twists, breath, oms and aaahhhhs! All truly wonderful things come in small packages and Melanie fits perfectly.... her voice throughout the class a constant reminder to bring yourself back to that precise moment, to let all thoughts go to turn off the sub conscience mind and just be present. An absolute release from everything cluttering the mind and body on any given day. And then the icing on the cake... Melanie quietly tip toes from person to person... picking up one arm gently while laying in savasana (on your back arms to the side, palms up, ready to receive) her hands slick with the most wonderful oil/lotion/scent concoction as she lightly pulls your arm, one at a time, to one side, then the other, then gently down again with a soft push against my palm as her finger tips push mine to open up just a little bight more with the most wonderful softest touch....


Yummy yummy class it was! I don't get home until 10:30pm but it is SO worth the late night.

And on the ov watch front.....CD 17! AND Fertile DAY 1!!!!!!!
I was up at 12:30am to go to the bathroom and looked at the watch and couldn't beleive it when I saw the display had changed from NF to Fertile Day 1.... :-) Can you guess how we celebrated?!!!! LOL ...based on the CD 17 today that puts the ov watch prediction for ovulation on CD 21 (Tuesday) and after a quick look at my charts on fertilityfriend.com from the months I did track... I'm thinking we've been missing the boat completely.... showing up to early to the party and when we went back it was over!

Thursday, July 9

TTC is a waiting game

CD 16

I was half asleep as my husband checked the ov watch again this morning and literally dropped my arm I think cause he was a little disappointed with the big NF on it. LOL In previous months we've tried the every other day baby dancing from day 10 to 20 but that can be pretty exhausting so it ultimately looked like every third day and of course still no baby... so we're both pretty curious as to when this watch is going to show the coveted green light 'Fertile Day 1' to know that we've hit the window dead on the two week wait to test is going to be just plain torture this month... probably more so then ever before... I'll be doing lots of deep breathing, yoga and keep myself as busy and distracted as possible!!

Think I'll start building a to do list for those couple of weeks now....

1. finish office purge/move and set up
2. update photography website with new portfolio items
3. go for walks with Daytona
4. rent some chick flicks unrelated to baby or pregnancy
5. do all small biz bookkeeping to day for 2009
6. set up online booking function via photography website
7. yoga, yoga, yoga
8. .... I'm sure I can think of some more things as I go but this is a solid start.

Wednesday, July 8

here I am

WOW such a great holiday.. spent mostly at home and working on my own small business stuff, sleeping in, photo shoots, little cottage time, started decluttering my office (work in progress there), catching up with friend and fellow photog while dinning and shopping at Ikea, relaxing on the couch all afternoon with our pup AND finally getting a good layer cleaned up all over our house.... we can't seem to just keep things at one point of clean its always a big overhaul kind of clean... you know the kind when you finally vacuum the lamp shades, move the kitchen chairs to wash the floor, run the vacuum attachements over the baseboards and corners of the room etc. LOL

And now I have a 3 day work week ahead of me, massage tonight, yoga tomorrow and a photo shoot on saturday morning!!! I'm hoping next week, working a full 5 day week won't kill me! LOL

Still no Fertile Day 1 on the ov watch... my husband has been checking every morning before I'm even awake yet.. he's ready to baby dance! :-) .... so far we're CD 15. Last night he mentioned that it seems like in previous months we had started the baby dance earlier (usually tried to BD every other day CD 10 to 20) so it will be intereting to see when the watch says 'go' because obviously our timing hasn't worked to date.

I'm REALLY excited and so hopefull that we'll have success within the next few months :-)