Thursday, January 28


This clinic called this morning with the results... 43.3 and RN told me anything over 30 was good so I've definatly ovulated!

I'm not surprised as I've always figured I did (just happens it was later then it really should be) but what is great (from my understanding) is that when I did do the cycle monitoring in Nov. I o'd on cd 21.... so obviously I o'd earlier because of my progesterone level yesterday.

Am I on the right thought path here?

Thinking we'll stick with the clomid for another 2 cycles if required and then a month off as ordered by doctor. Then we'll see what direction doc would recommend. IUI? Who knows !

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Wednesday, January 27


I've had this huge urge to buy this crib this cycle. Not necessarily because I believe this is for sure our cycle but perhaps because it will get my butt in gear to clean out the office/ someday soon nursery.

How much baby stuff have you accumulated to date? Was it forced on you or a purchase you made intentionally?

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clomid and CD 21 blood work

jumped over to the fertility clinic for my 21 day blood work before heading to work

she did it for me thankfully but she (the head RN for the very small clinic) was all "if i where you I'd be doing a cycle monitoring at the same time as clomid cause you just don't know what the clomid is doing and you can only use it so many times" and she proceeded to say that I should have had my progesterone checked on CD 28 not CD 21 like Dr. Will had said because when I had my cycle monitored I o'd on CD 21 (info I told her)... ummm HELLO! why are you contradicting what the doctor recommended. AND why are you pushing me to do a cycle monitoring after I've clearly just told you the stress of being late for work repeatedly is too much for me because I've got a crazy bitch for a boss.

wouldn't he want the blood work for cd 21 because he wants me to ovulate earlier in order to get pregnant??!!! duh

mildly irritated with that place this morning. she was rambling on about all this without even looking at my file... nor did she bother to return my call yesterday to say yes she'd be in the office in the a.m. and I could come in for blood work there instead of another lab.

Tuesday, January 26

Daytona Tuesday

We usually take Daytona with us when we're out running around, errants etc... and it never fails that he's usually watching for us... sometimes he's gotten tired and laid down but usually he's watching for us int he direction we left... can you say separation anxiety much? We're working on it... always a work in progress.

Thursday, January 21

CD 15 & FD 2

So finally the ov watch gave me a fertility day 1 yesterday. I'm not sure how accurate the watch is with clomid added into the mix this cycle but at least we know the window should be open.

I've decided I'm not going to buy anymore sensors for the watch right now. Maybe, just maybe this cycle will finally be the one and I won't need them or regret not ordering more. I just can't bring myself to spent the extra money on them considering I've used them already for 6 cycles, this 1 being my 6th.

I know I do ovulate, just later then I should, my cycle is generally regular in the 29-34 day mark so if we get down to the BD'ing every other day starting around day 10 until 20 or 21 we'll have hit the window of opportunity. So if we don't finally get pregnant this month then we'll just keep up with the clomid and acupuncture for another 2 cycles before it'll be time to take a month off from clomid (as per doctor's guidance).

I think in my mind I'll be ready as will DH to take the IUI root come Summer in the meantime I'm still holding out hope we'll be able to do this on our own. But as any infertile knows that plan could change in the blink of an eye. I'm going to be 32 in April and who knows how that birthday and the birth of my nephew next month could effect me and where we go next.

Tuesday, January 19

Daytona Tuesday

So mr. crazy here was being his playful self and managed to tear one of his pads on the weekend... we've been trying to keep him from playing too crazy. He doesn't favor it or limp... it's the pad that's up higher on his paw. He didn't even make a sound when he did it... wasn't until he gave his paw to DH for a cookie and DH had blood on his hand that we knew he had done it.

Really hoping it heals without any complications.

Saturday, January 16

to ov watch or not to ov watch

as you probably already know I've been using the ov watch for 6 cycles now... 5 consecutively and then in dec. I ended up with a bum sensor and we jsut decided to take the month off so this month is the 6 sensor to be used.

so if you where me would you keep on buying these things or would you just go with the clomid and BD every other day starting around CD 10?

1 sensor costs $39.99 + $16 shipping to me here in god old Canada or I can buy 3 of them for $99 something + shipping

you're thoughts would really be appreciated...

Wednesday, January 13

Clomid - last pill - CD 7

so tonight I'll be poppin' my last clomid and I have to say I really haven't been feeling any side effects... so of course the mind wanders to ... maybe it's not a high enough dose blah blah blah...

I have to say it's weird somehow to be poppin' the clomid and then we haven't even started the BDing yet because we're waiting for the ov watch to chim in with it's predictions *beep beep* window open, window open... BD.. NOW! NOW! NOW! and now!

Maybe it will all just click finally... maybe it'll be another round of clomid with a higher dose, maybe this TTC stuff will all be over soon and we can start the 13 week panic of making it through the first trimester. After 28 months (minus a few mental breaks from trying) of TTC I'd be happy to substitute the 2 week wait for that kind of panic and finally seeing the 2 lines on a HPT.

My naturopath and I have decided to just throw anything and everything at this cycle... so I'll be doing 3 sessions of acupuncture (1st 1 tomorrow) and I read some stuff about robitussin and CM... so because clomid can dry things up a little I'm going to start taking the robitussin tomorrow to see if that works (also LOTS of water and some salty foods). Naturopath said it can't hurt me so cold syrup it is, restorative yoga as much as I can and then of course the baby dancing... My sweet husband is getting as restless as I am of late and we're both holding out so much hope for 2010. We're giving it everything we've got! :-)

A belated Daytona Tuesday

Easter Weekend 2007

Just about a month after we brought him home so I guess 3-4 months old here.
He still lays on the floor all spread out like this... but that pillow has long been gone. He use to curl up in a tiny ball and sleep on it but he wouldn't fit on anymore.. think it fell victim to a day in his crate when he decided to shred it to bits!

Saturday, January 9

Clomid - Round 1 of ? (1 please/hopefully)

Popped my first clomid tonight. Also will be using my last ov watch sensor. Undecided at the moment if I'll be purchasing anymore for now though.

So last night after work when I want to pick up said clomid this young guy "pharm. assistant" grabs it from the drawer and says something about "that'll be $120...." ahhh excuse me? For 1 month?

The pharmacy completed the scrip for the full 3 months... I was so irritated... I know it's not really their fault blah blah blah but I told another person the night before when I dropped the script off that I wanted 1 MONTH... 1! They must be familiar with clomid no? and what it's used for.. yes/no? And that no person would want to walk out with a 3 month supply... that the doctor could change the dose? NO? do I just live in a community who's elderly population has overrun the pharmacies and they're oblivious to anything the rest of the population might be needing?

Friday, January 8

My Hopes for 2010

... continue with my weekly small business meeting with 3 other women as we support each other to grow our business and tackle this list of things we always want and mean to do but never seem to get to. Putting the procrastination book and fast track phototog book on the list of tasks with this group so they'll keep me accountable

... want to purchase a new camera body and at least 2 lens

... I will keep up my yoga classes at the studio twice a week and a third class on Saturday morning whenever possible

... to honour the importance Daytona plays in our lives. He provides us so much comedic relief on a daily basis he deserves a good play or walk as much as possible. When I think about a maternity leave I think about not having to leave him all day

... emotional eating... continue taking steps, however slowly, to make changes in my relationship with food

I see 2010 holding a big change in terms of my job... the company is a little shaky and I'm either going to find myself on mat leave by this time next year OR striking out on my own again with my small business. Ultimately this has always been the goal... the job was to get the mortgage and then a mat leave we just didn't think it would take this long to get pregnant... that said I can't help but believe that everything truly does happen for a reason. Now that I'm being more active in my business and making it grow again and taking control of the things that left me blind to how well my business was or wasn't doing (hello! bookkeeping done for 2009 already and not in april 2010!).

Thursday, January 7

What I hoped for 2009...

This seemed to work fairly well for me in 2009 (not that I actually accomplished all of these things) so I thought I'd give it a go again... something to look back at over the year and keep my hopes in front of me so they don't get lost in the day to day life.

What I hoped for 2009...

... to figure out why we haven't conceived and take steps to make sure we do sooner then later
I feel this this is done for 2009 and I'm in the stage

... to continue my new marketing efforts with my small biz and keep saving for the new camera body and macbook I want to add to my equipment.
I've crossed macbook off the list... ahead this year... new camera body and some lenses

... to keep up with my yoga practice at home as well as the two classes/week
In class pretty good but at home.. not so much

... to make a daily walk with Daytona just part of my routine
my poor dog... he get's moments of awesome but a routine never lasts for very long. somehow he still loves us

... to read and finish the book on procrastination I rec'd from my sweet husband
nope... Imagine that... a procrastinator not being able to finish a book about procrastination

... do the work involved in completing "Fast Track Photographer" and do it well as to make the most of what is left of the year.
no... but feeling that the regular/weekly meetings with 3 other small business women has been a major help in keeping me moving forward in my business to the day I can walk away from being and employee

... to arrive to work on time, make that before 8:30 not at 8:30
Done... could always better but overall I solid effort continues

... to continue planning our weekly dinners/lunches, shopping with a list for the week ahead and eating dinner at the table with my most awesome husband
I have to give my husband credit for this one... he makes the dinner list every sunday morning and by 10am or earlier we're heading out to get the groceries. this is followed by laundry, a nap or tv, him making dinner and then more chill-axing at night.

... do my bookkeeping for 2009 to date... I refuse to left another year pass without getting a hold of this and rushing to get it all done 2 weeks before the deadline! I've set my iCal to have the first 1/2 of '09 done by June 30.
OMG... I am actually done my 2009 bookkeeping! I finished it up over the holidays and have finally found something that is allowing me to easily keep on top of it.. thank you F.reshbooks!

Original post and April 2009 (revisit of hopes for 2009)

Tomorrow - 2010's hopes

Wednesday, January 6

Here I am 2010... let's go!

I can't honestly say that I've attacked the new year like I have so many times in the past... perhaps that's just because I've realized that my expectations and goals are always way too high and failure comes sometime before Valentine's day.

So this year I'm going to just continue on this journey learning and growing and making small changes one step at a time.

This year will involve more on the TTC discovery path as we'll be taking on our first clomid cycle just as soon as AF shows up again.. and yes I expect her too cause I'm pretty sure we won't get knocked up by some miracle. We both have been so exhausted for the last month or so and the disappointment has taken it's toll... so last month we was a wash and I'm ok with that... sometimes you just need a month off. Of course now my thoughts are on 2010 and if, if, if... if we get pregnant this month or that one we'll have our baby here with us by next Christmas.

Christmas was a quite one which we both appreciated. We spent time tucked away at my dad and step mom's place and relaxed and watched lots of movies and made great dinners together. I could feel my heart was heavy but I just refused to give that pain too much attention. I'm holding onto a lot of hope that a baby is in our future and we're closer then we have ever been before.

Usually a new year has always involved some sort of weight loss goal but I'm realizing for me it's not about the scale or a dress size at this point. I'm an emotional eater and I'm taking steps very slowly towards what I know I need to do in order to break these harmful habits.

Tuesday, January 5

earlier tonight

to my left

to my right

Daytona Tuesday

I can't decide if he's just smelling something or hiding from me taking his picture AGAIN! lol