Wednesday, April 30


Originally uploaded by chaf.haddad
this is what's going on in my home town.... insane!!
I'm going to take an inventory this weekend of all the books and DVD's I own. I don't know why... well maybe to keep me from buying anymore. LOL Maybe just one more though...

I look up the emotional eating book green girl suggested. Totally makes sense to look in this direction to better myself, eating habits etc. And here's the website I'll do a little more research on the author but so far I like what I see. Thank you Green Girl!!!

1: ww toast (128) + peanut butter (95) + s.milk (86)
2: yogurt (110) + strawberries (65)
3: 2 hard boiled eggs (150)
4: salad (66) + pork chop (239) + dressing (180)
5: 2 slices roast beef (deli) (14) + 5 strawberries (65)
6: side salad (66)+ 1 tbsp. dressing (90) + home made hamburger helper style pasta dish (320?)

Total: 1674

- pictures of product for work (leaving early, thank god!) (check)
- walk with Daytona
- circuit (got me new DVD with Jillian Michaels... it was a perfect 20 minute intense workout) (check)
- clean up livingroom for photo shoot tomorrow night (check)

Tuesday, April 29

I think I've pin pointed why I can't keep up to a routine. I'm too focused on the big picture.

I get started.. yeah
I keep it up for a couple of weeks but then its just tooooo overwhelming the amount of weight I want to loose and then I sabotage my efforts again and again and again.

Why do I always focus on the big picture, why can't I just focus on today. this week, this month... why do I expect/ want the results... well... yesterday. And then in a couple more months I'll be kicking myself that I wasted all that time and I could have lost 10, 15, 20 lbs by now.

My limit use to be I don't want to get over 180, then 190 then no way I'll hit 200, no way 210 and now I'm 220. How did I get here??? how does this serve my body's needs, how does it ensure I'll be able to do all I want to do now and years from now?? Obesity is in our family on my mom's side, my aunt is very heavy and I use to wonder how she got that big, how did that happen but I can see it now.... the desire to feed my emotions good and bad with food is always there, a ticking time bomb of sorts, my self talk is all over the board, my mood from day to day is up and down and sometimes WAY down. This isn't the me I know I can be or want to be but I want to go eat an entire box of cookies, cake, pie, chips, donuts, fast food and sulk then do something about it.

I have some new books + a dvd coming from, they should be here by Friday. Jillian Michael's book + new dvd, chronicles of trying to conceive and a fertility diet book by dr. greene however that said I think we'll be taking a break from trying this month. its just so intense waiting for the period, hoping you won't get it... and I need to look after me first. I know I've been up and down on this over and over again just like weight loss but I've been saying for years that I wanted to get healthy before having a baby. I'm not going to put a number on it but I need to take better care of me so I'll be able to take care of a child. No reflexology this month... instead I've decided to send Jamie... I know he'll enjoy it just as much as I do.

Tonight I will see my chiropractor (so time for an adjustment), walk the dog and do a circuit!

B: banana
L: left over chicken curry + sweet potatoes + strawberries
S: 2 slices of roast beef (deli) + 3 strawberries
D: bbq pork chop + salad + potato wedges (at least now they are gone)
S: green tea

I did it!!!
- Chiropractor (check)

- 40 minute walk with Daytona (check)
- warm up, circuit, cool down (check) done at 9:50pm but done!!!

Monday, April 28

What a great weekend. Lots of relaxing, fresh air and time with my husband, sister, dad and step mom.... pure perfection! Although I was pretty lazy, my sister and I both where. Dad wanted us to paint the bucket on the dump truck be we didn't think it was a good idea.

"sister, step mom, dad and of course, my brother Brandy" :-)

"truck bucket did get painted by my dad and step mom"

Sat. afternoon we took off and went into town for a little shop. Great little downtown... Hanover!

We watched movies, Jamie drove the tractor all over the place and built a road, flower bed, spread a bunch of gravel out and top soil too. He bottom was a little numb from sitting in the tractor all day but he loves it, says its better then playing with Tonka trucks. LOL We went for walks, sat out on the veranda, played with the doggies. Just a perfect weekend!

"he's so happy to be in Hanover"

more pictures posted to flickr

B: strawberries
L: leftovers (portobello mushroom, potato and steak)
S: large banana
D: curried chicken thighs w/peppers, onions and sweet potatoes
S: who knows, tea, hopefully nothing

Wednesday, April 23

I'm 30 today!!! The big 3-0 and honestly I'm kinda excited about it... no.... a lot excited!!!!

This morning on my drive in I was thinking about what I've been up to the last 10 years and then started visualizing all that the next 10 will hold.

The girls at work bought me wonderful cupcakes today and I rec'd a bouquet of flowers and another delivery is expected tonight, not sure who that's from though.

tomorrow night we are heading to the lakehouse... my sister is here! but I won't see her until tomorrow night, a perfectly relaxing 3 day weekend at the lakehouse!!!!! aaaaaahhhhhh I can't wait!!

For my birthday I've rec'd my new roller blades and the protective gear to go with them, my green tea, some new clothes and the movie Juno which I can't wait to watch this weekend!

Tuesday, April 22

B: cheerios + s.milk
L: large salad + greek dressing + bbq chicken
well no baby news this month but I'm good. I figure this just means I'm definitely going to have a chance to interview and GET that dream job I've got my eye on. The posting closes on Friday so fingers crossed I get a call early next week to interview. when one door closes another opens!!! :-)

Friday, April 18

I am so disappointed.

Yesterday when I got home and let Daytona out for a run my neighbor came over for a chat. She asked how long of a walk our dog walking service was suppose to be taking Daytona for.... I told her they leave us a note and it usually says 30 to 45 minutes on it. Well it turns out that's not happening, sometimes it does but for the most part its a 5-10 minute to the mail box three houses down and back. This is unacceptable! we pay $150/month for this service and that's discounted by $50 bucks cause they are friends of ours, alright we don't hang out on weekends or anything but they aren't people (husband/wife team) that we would have ever thought would pull something like this. To take advantage of our good nature this way and it hurts Daytona too. A mid-day visit of 5 minutes with a little walk is not fair, if anything it just gets him all worked up and back in the garage he goes for the rest of the day. The whole purpose of us hiring them was to give him a chance to get some energy out and break up his day until we arrived home again.

So the plan is I'm going to keep quite about what we know and just bluff and tell them we can't afford it anymore. Our neighbor who brought this to my attention also has a small dog and she's home all day (both neighbors to our right are home all day and they both noticed the same things). She offered to give him some time out of the garage in her fenced in backyard... so we're going to give that a try. She didn't ask for money but I'm going to pay her the same as I was paying them and I know Daytona will have company for the better part of the morning or afternoon.

Jamie is so disappointed because it would seem that inevitably his friends disappoint him or take advantage of him etc. And man the guilt that we are feelin' .... just awful. But a real wake up call for me to smarten up and get a walk in every single night, he deserves that and since hiring the walking service I've been slacking. I took Daytona for a really great walk last night. I just hate thinking about him getting his hopes up and then its a little 5 minute to the mailboxes and back.

Look at this face, how can you not love him to bits and give him all he deserves.*Little Daytona background. He was abandoned in Kitchener around a month old. Rescued by the Humane Society of KW where he had lots of shots and pediatric neutering before we found him online and rushed to Kitchener the following day hoping we would be approved for his adoption. It was March and we got to take him home that day!!!! He weighed about 15 lbs and he's now about 15months (38lbs) and full on puppy energy still but so obedient and wanting to please. He goes just about everywhere with us other then to work... well actually he goes with Jamie to work some Saturday mornings during the winter when Jamie had to blow snow, he loves riding in the big tractor there and at my dad's place in Hanover. He loves Gwen Stefani music, veggies, sleeping on the bed in the guest bedroom, playing with his (fur) uncle Brandy and chilling with us at night.

Thursday, April 17

still waiting. tomorrow starts the countdown Day 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!!!

the test strips i purchased say you can test between 7-10 days post ovulation but I'm going to stick to my original birthday test date plan!

*fingers crossed*

Friday, April 11

And now we wait. The waiting is always killer, so I need to keep myself super busy and distracted. What is kind of exciting is that my test date is my birthday, my 30th birthday. How amazing would it be to learn on my 30th birthday that I'm pregnant!?!!!!

I added OPK test strips to our trying to conceive efforts this month and I went back and checked how many months out of the last 7 we actually "tried" and its 4 months, not the last 7 so how can I be discouraged by that?! It's not a lot, its not like we have been trying for 12 consecutive months.

My reflexology session was so amazing last week and I made a point of visualizing what our little one might look like, saw my husband sleeping on the couch with him/her sleeping on his chest, saw myself sitting in bed with our baby in my lap, held up nose to nose, saw my husband coming home anxious to hold him/her - such an amazing smile on his face, not far from the expression he shares with me at the end of each day and I saw us spending time on the waterfront, walking, strollering along and weekends playing at the cottage, him/her a toddler running around and giggling and big hugs for my dad and step mom. Before the session even began she said you are ready, I can feel your energy and you are ready to become a mom so don't doubt yourself. It was so reassuring to hear that.

I should mention that I use to track my cycle and our trying to conceive (TTC) efforts.

Tuesday, April 8

I'm pooped!

Our weekend was very productive. Couple of photo shoots on Saturday and then Sunday was spent doing things we wanted to get done but just hadn't gotten to it yet. First up was the garage, more purging done there, sorting, tidy up, sweep etc. And then I also shortened a curtain (I've been meaning to do that for a REALLY long time) for the upstairs bathroom and also bought and hung new curtains in the livingroom. An awesome brown colour, I bought two sets this time so it looks fuller and so much better. We've got a brown theme going with our new furniture from Ikea and the curtains. Next up will be the wall colour. Its not bad now but would like to freshen it up in the near future but there are projects to be done before we buy the paint.

This weekend I'm looking forward to doing my small business 2007 bookkeeping! HA! I don't know how I manage to do this to myself every year. I always end up spending a weekend working on finalizing everything everything and then get it to my accountant. brutal! then the weekend after that my mom and her boyfriend are coming to visit. After that my sister! I'm really looking forward to her visit.

Anyways just wanted to drop a post as I haven't been doing a very good job at blogging lately. :-)

Tuesday, April 1


love April... new beginnings... spring is finally in sight... birthday countdown (and its a big one 3-0)... my mom is coming to visit... then my sister too.

Work has been crazy, why go into detail though it'll just confuse people. I seriously work for the most "gifted" of all family run businesses, a family run business that likes to spend money on outside sources vs. paying their employees more appropriately, especially when said employee can do the work herself.

Got the journal, haven't started writing in it. Eating has been okay, getting in lots of water and spending time purging and cleaning my home. I seem to do this when I'm setting myself up for another run at weight loss. I tidy the house, good cleaning, organize things, put everything in its place, purge whatever I possibly can. Although this is also due to pending visits from family. lol

Weekend was great... we splurged a little and picked up the new tv stand and large bookcase for our living room from IKEA we've had our eye on for awhile. Again trying to minimize & organize. This makes my husband very happy! lol

Next up is the garage, I have minimized the stuff I've carted around in the last 10+ years but I know I can do more. I'm going to go through what is out there and purge some more and try and take some pictures of things for memories sake and then send it onto goodwill. I have narrowed down the childhood memory box to 2 rubbermaids but its the cases of negatives from my time at Sheridan College and projects mounted on press board, if it isn't hanging in my livingroom I really should just let it go. After that's done I want to move onto the master bedroom. Purge more from our closet and install a closet organizer so I can get rid of a dress and open up that area some more as I use it as my workout area, usually, we also have the elliptical there and it's taking up more room then I would have imagined.