Friday, April 30

it popped!

Monday -wandy + b/w
Wednesday - wandy + b/w + HCG trigger
Thursday - wandy + b/w + iui
Friday - wandy

This morning concludes the last of our first IUI attempt. That was absolutely exhausting! I wish that I could have called in sick to work but no sense in bring anymore attention to myself. I've been late to work 15-30 minutes 4 out of 5 days and yesterday even went to crazy boss lady and said "I had some more tests this morning and my doctor's office just called and they want to see... asked me to be there for 4:30" - of course what else can she say to that then of course go.. she asked what was wrong and I just said well hopefully I'll finally know and have some answers. Of course that really isn't lying but just a twist of the details to get me to where I needed to be and that was home to get my DH "sample" for the IUI they had me scheduled for at 4:30

It hurt... I do not like it when they slid the catheter in... holy crap that hurts... feels like someone taking a sharp object and is slicing a perfect line through my uterus. yuck! but thankfully I was feeling better quickly and with some advil and some time on the couch DH and I headed out to do a few errants and then home to make dinner. Bloated for the last couple of days and today I wasn't sure there was any room for wandy up there to be poking around. I have my largest pants on that are work appropriate and am kicking myself for donating my other next size up pants to goodwill not even two month ago (what was I thinking?!)

so now we wait... and wait some more. we have a little weekend getaway planed for next weekend, I will get to do some cross border shopping 1 afternoon and my DH will get a dive or two in which will make him very happy. will be sticking to the yoga to nurture classes and nice slow bend and breath type of classes vs my usual sweat it out and it hurts to do anymore classes. Acupuncture as much as needed (so thankful for my gf and ND for this), also keep up with my daily circle+bloom meditations, and lots of work waiting in the wings that I have yet to complete for some of my clients. Hopefully it will fly by and hopefully it will be the result we want cause I'm not entirely sure where the money is going to come from if we have to keep on doing this.

These are the words I shared with a handful of people yesterday as we headed into our day ahead

today will be a very BIG day for us... asking quietly for all your positive energy and hope that this perfect cycle and egg and lining meet up with a perfect sperm and we'll finally be on our way to becoming perfectly imperfect parents

I am ready now to have the life I always wanted.

That last sentence was an angel card that a friend pulled on my half yesterday morning without even telling me and then shared it with me. It is perfect and so true. We have traveled on this road for so long and now we are ready to do what needs to be done to make it happen.

Tuesday, April 27

Monday, April 26

are you pregnant?

cause everyone else around us suddenly is... or just recently (we found out last) told us: from college - due in May
...guy from college and his wife who I'd also consider a friend - due in 2 weeks
...guy that owns husband's gym just announced they're expecting a third... a boy after 2 little girls
...dumbass guy at DH work.. that guys gf just had a boy days gf also pregnant with a boy and due this summer

all of the above... boys

maybe that means we'll be bring a little girl into this world soon.

text to husband:
I think I know what you mean. Makes it harder sometimes to beleive it will happen. Guess we're just going to come in last since neither one of us is very competitive. lol

I think you may be right, but we have had to work hard for everything else and it's all been worth it in the end, so this will be too!

could you not just eat him up?! Love him so much.

CD 11 today and u/s showed my 2 largest follies are 15mm on my left side. IUI is near.

Tuesday, April 20

Daytona Tuesday

So tired he didn't even care to look up when we put all the remotes on top of him... another weekend at the cottage.

Monday, April 19

iui success rates

I'm trying to stay clear of dr. google so I thought I'd ask here... do you know anyone who was successful with IUI and/or IUI + clomid?

It occured to me yesterday that out of the blogs I do follow no one seems to be doing so hot in the IUI department... do you know anyone who was successful with an IUI? And how many did they do before they got their BFP?

just curious

Friday, April 16

suddenly emotional

finally today after such a long wait that I'm not use to having to go through today is not CD 46 but rather CD 1.

I just got off the phone with the fertility clinic to let them know and I'll be going in Monday for first bloodwork + u/s and we'll be taking this 1 day, 1 visit at time to iui day. But making that phone call suddenly I'm feeling this flood of emotions. We tried for so long to do this on our own and as much as I want to finally be pregnant it seems to be hitting me that our bodies have failed us thus far. Or is it that now we'll be even more invested then we ever imagined we could be as we lay down more money or maybe it's the stress of the early money dash to the fertility clinic and barrelling down the highway to try and make it to work without the boss giving me the third degree as to why I'm 10 minutes late. Maybe it's just a flood of emotions and hope that this might finally be it... maybe this will be just the right 'mix' of events to get our BFP.

Please let this be our turn world.

Wednesday, April 14

CD 44

OMG what a cycle... this doesn't happen very often but when it does i think it's my husband that might loose his mind before I do.

Luckily some spotting this afternoon so onto visits with wandy soon enough and our first (and preferably last!) IUI. And depending on what clomid has in store for me a quick guess puts IUI around my 32nd birthday.

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, April 13

Daytona Tuesday

April '08, an afternoon at the cottage that included lots of swimming and playing and kong tossing.

Wednesday, April 7


not that I'm surprised but any means but would have been nice to not have to start spending money on IUI... oh well. It hurt my DH more then me this morning... he's feeling pretty angry at this point about the whole situation but he leveled out before he left for work so I think in a few days he'll be ready to take on IUI.

hoping to get in for some acupuncture today to help AF get a move on

Tuesday, April 6

CD 36

Just when I think I'm keeping my cool I get a little wrapped up in the impossible... all due to my body thinking its funny to mess with me

Barely kept track of CM, no clomid and only 1 morning of BD'ing all because I knew I'd be away visiting my sister and nephew during the "window" of opportunity and now it's CD 36. I have not tested... those dashes at the end are just me putting in my CM as dry to make the chart expand further.

Is there any point to hoping for even another second that we could be one of those couples that just gave up one month and planned to take on IUI the next month and BAM get pregnant?! I would love to believe it but I just can't. Have not POAS yet... but my husband is growing impatient too so maybe soon. I just know the disappointment I've felt the other two times I've had a long cycle (once in Feb 2008 and again Aug 2009... 48 and 42 day cycles... ridiculous! compared to my usual 28-32 day cycle).

Could it be that clomid really messed up my system that much that I have this random cycle happening this month? Has hell finally frozen over and it's my turn?

Of course now that I've poured all this into my blog I'm sure AF will arrive within the hour.

Daytona Tuesday

We love spending time with my dad and step mom on their property just outside Hanover. And when we are there you can generally find Daytona running and playing outside but as soon as my DH gets into the tractor he's right there wanting to go with him. It's so funny regardless the season Daytona is right there wanting to take his place on the floor.