an emotional mess....that's what I am today (i started that post on Tuesday)
I was just an mess on Tuesday... I couldn't stop crying for the better part of the morning and of course I was at work and couldn't just go home because of a big meeting scheduled for the afternoon.
what was wrong? everything... of course!
- no success this month with TTC
- stress of christmas and money spending
- a 4th person was laid off at DH workplace, DH still has a job but the stress + period + no baby just was too much
- my dad giving me a hard time about bowing out of the family gathering on my step mom's side on the 13th (reason more money as they sprung a gift exchange into the mix + we'd be responsible for bring 2 dishes to the potluck + the 2.5 hr drive + no one bothered to answer my question about whether or not we could bring our dog until a week later)
- stress of TTC next month cause if we do, baby would arrive in late August and my sister finally set the date for her wedding... yeah... Sept. 5th. We have been trying for too long now to stop for a couple months with the idea of being at her wedding. Yes of course I want to be there (suppose to be in the wedding party) but I can't stop living my life and TTC when the wedding is just under 1 year away... even if we did wait till March to start trying again I could still miss the wedding due to bed rest or complications or doctors orders to not travel (wedding is in NB).... so we are trying agian in December.. because we both want to get this show on the road. lol
yeah so this week started off with an awful yucky loud bang but luckily we got through it, are getting through it... looking after ourselves and trying not to worry so much about what everyone else things or feels... sometimes you just have to put yourself first, okay all the time but its ten thousand times harder this time of year :-(