Friday, November 28

an emotional mess....that's what I am today (i started that post on Tuesday)

I was just an mess on Tuesday... I couldn't stop crying for the better part of the morning and of course I was at work and couldn't just go home because of a big meeting scheduled for the afternoon.

what was wrong? everything... of course!

- no success this month with TTC
- stress of christmas and money spending
- a 4th person was laid off at DH workplace, DH still has a job but the stress + period + no baby just was too much
- my dad giving me a hard time about bowing out of the family gathering on my step mom's side on the 13th (reason more money as they sprung a gift exchange into the mix + we'd be responsible for bring 2 dishes to the potluck + the 2.5 hr drive + no one bothered to answer my question about whether or not we could bring our dog until a week later)
- stress of TTC next month cause if we do, baby would arrive in late August and my sister finally set the date for her wedding... yeah... Sept. 5th. We have been trying for too long now to stop for a couple months with the idea of being at her wedding. Yes of course I want to be there (suppose to be in the wedding party) but I can't stop living my life and TTC when the wedding is just under 1 year away... even if we did wait till March to start trying again I could still miss the wedding due to bed rest or complications or doctors orders to not travel (wedding is in NB).... so we are trying agian in December.. because we both want to get this show on the road. lol

yeah so this week started off with an awful yucky loud bang but luckily we got through it, are getting through it... looking after ourselves and trying not to worry so much about what everyone else things or feels... sometimes you just have to put yourself first, okay all the time but its ten thousand times harder this time of year :-(

1 comment:

Christy said...

Oh my friend! I'm sorry to hear that TTC wasn't a go this month, but I think you are absolutely right in not taking any time off. There will always seem to be "something" that wont' make that month perfect, but you've invested too much into this to put it on hold now. And your sister would completely understand if/when you are 9 months pregnant when she gets married! You may easily be able to travel at that point and maybe even some exciting story about having the baby on the side of the road (hehe, just had to throw that in here).

So much stress at one time, take it easy this weekend and dont' worry about missing a Christmas get together. There will be another one next year and you'll have a sweet little boy or girl with you :)