this morning

I am home.. ssssooo tired... no work today. I got a dr. note just so my boss will stay off my back.

Anyways appointment this morning went well... quick. And I had to wear a mask since I'm sick.

We're doing the SA for the husband and thyroid for me. From those results we'll take the next step. My memory is fuzzy but I think that was an ultrasound of my ovaries and then next would be a referral to the fertility clinic. I think I've left something out but can't remember what.

Based on my regular cycles and the pain I described to the dr. he doesn't feel that its necessarily endo so that's good. I didn't ask about the HSG test. Figure out if I have any thyroid issues first and go through the cleanse.

So after our appointment I went and had thyroid blood work done and we also got the requisition form and instructions for the semen analysis test. Our doctor said to call a week after we had dropped off the SA for the results... so now its getting the sample out of DH. I was very disappointed that the sample has to be dropped off to the lab as close to 12:30pm as possible on a weekday except Wednesday... fan fucking tastic. Urgh! I'm thinking I'll call to see if I can drop it off directly to the lab that will process it and if that will change the time I can drop it off. I guess when we drop it off to our hometown lab it has to go to Barrie a 30 minute drive from us.

I think the husband is still taking it in... he says that he of course doesn't want anything to be wrong with either of us but it just seems like way more of a bigger deal for him directly. I'm not entirely sure what's going on in that head of his but I just remind him that its one test for him and it could be a whole lot of them for me.

So what else will the month ahead bring? I'm going to give a cleanse my best shot. Basically I'm going vegan with some proteins in there to keep me from loosing my mind. This is all of course under the guidance of my ND and she made me promise to blog that it should only be done with the guidance of your ND as we are all different and what might work for one may not work for another.

There is a whole big list that goes with that but just based on the notes I took last night (as we had our appointment over the phone)
- vegan
- no dairy
- sweat everyday (hot baths/sauna)
- followed by cold splash over throat and neck to stimulate thyroid
- castor oil massage from below breasts to hips and abdomen
- loaf or brush the skin
- water like I've never drank water before
- lots of yoga
- 100 deep breaths a day
- not to consciously try to conceive while doing the cleanse as so many toxins will be released
- oh and to take Happy Sense there where 2 studies done that showed the group of women taking 5-HTP lost more weight then the group on the placebo (10lbs vs 2lbs in whatever amount of time the study was for... can't remember... if you're interested I'll get the info from my ND)

The happy sense makes well.... sense to me. I haven't really been myself lately... my ambition and drive isn't what it has been in the past and I know I'm susceptible to depression from past experiences. I've never taken a drug for depression, was prescribed something once a very long time ago as my parents where going through a separation (but I didn't feel a drug was the solution for me), I lost an entire month from school and I can feel that in my life at the moment... that despair of if only I could just stay home, stay in bed... I just don't want to do it. ND also recommended getting the Happy Sense going so that it will help me make it through the cleanse, which I'm hoping to sustain for at least a month.

oh that's a lot for now... my head is just pounding and I it's time to lay down again. I just wanted to touch base here because I have been so lucky to have a handful of women in my life who are cheering me on from the sidelines, supporting me as I take this journey to becoming a mom. Thank you so much ladies.. you know who you are. Hugs and love!