Wednesday, May 21

I'm trying to grasp emotional eating. My dad and I had a chat this weekend (we usually do this whenever I'm feelin' down). He knows me extremely well and he knows I've been down lately so we got chatting and I got some tears out and a big hug and I'm feeling not quite so overwhelmed. My self talk is horribly destructive and I know it, I know everything I need to know to succeed at weight loss I just end up saying F**k it and eat another sugary/salty crap.... its so overwhelming and the desire to see results quickly is unreasonable and I just throw my hands up and somehow manage to justify eating the things I know I shouldn't. I'm a TOTAL emotional eater (I'm ordering the book from amazon today!!) I need to overcome that, stop beating myself up all the time and I know I can make the weight loss happen.

I know what family looks like for Jamie and I and I've been feelin' so depressed that even the incentive of a healthy pregnancy, happy baby isn't enough of to make me want to do the right things to get there. I'm taking the pressure of trying off of us for now. I don't want to get pregnant at 220lbs!!! Not to mention my husband is a marine technician and has been going full out 70-80 hours 6 days a week for the last 2 months. I need to get my emotional eating and those trigger, as well as the awful self-talk under control so I can be a great mommy.

I've put my scale away!

I'm going to take a walk every single day for the next two weeks.

I'm going to eat as well as I can and not beat myself up, my focus is making walking a habit the next two weeks.

I'm going to catch up/finish the books that are most important to me. Dr. Greene fertility plan + emotional eating book.

I'm going to keep my ipod in my jacket so I don't forget it.

Food Today! UPdated!
1. kashi cereal + s.milk + 1/2 cup rass. n' blackberries
2. bean salad + c. tomatoes + olives + ww pita + baby bell cheese + hummus
3. pear yogurt
4. baby bell + 1/2 piece of flat bread
5. steak + corn/onions/potato
6. ice cream bar

Walk: 25 minutes from work (up to the bank, deposit and back again - 2 birds with one stone) + 45 minutes with Daytona when I got home. I even walked in the rain, which would normally be an easy way out of getting the walk in.

Yesterday however looked something like this:
1. carrot/ww muffin from Tims + g. tea
2. chocolate chip muffin
3. wendy's jr. bacon cheeseburger + fries + 1/2 root beer + frosty
4. samosas + olives + hummus + sesame flat bread
5. 2 ice cream bars (300 cal)

Home just after 5, crazy quick clean of the kitchen, trip to pick up veggies/fruit before cp closes, back to the house (forgot ipod) drop veggies/fruit and then to chiropractor, then for a walk at the park/waterfront, then to zehrs for afew more things, home again to clean out the fridge (garbage day/recycling cleaned up and sorted), prep a little dinner/snack and sat down to read/listen to tv at 8:45pm, bed at 11pm

Walk: 45 minutes on the waterfront with Daytona


Christy said...

Oh goodness! I have SO been exactly where you are. Your goals are simple and completely achievable (notice I didn't say easy, nothing worth doing is easy). I've incorporated walking into my routine and I have no idea if it's doing anything weight or inch wise but it's doing wonders for my emotionally....

I always try and make it through a craving by thinking how proud I will feel after I don't give in, as opposed to how crappy I will feel if I do give in. Just try to make it one day at a time, and the feeling you get the next day, after eating completely healthy the day before is amazing, and hopefully it will lead to more days without giving into those awful cravings.

Get into the bath and start reading, you can't go to the fridge when you're in the bath.

I don't want to make it sound like I've got it all down pat and it's easy, cuase it's certainly not. It's just how I get through the days - I can't look too far into the future or else I throw in the towel daily and eat whatever I want.

Enjo your WALK today :)

green girl said...

you're going to love that book!
when I was reading it, I couldn't believe that another person had exact same thoughts as I did - you'll see, you're not alone, and you can get this behavior under control!

cheers :)