oh there you are...

...I was beginning to think you weren't going to show this month... hoping might be a better word, but of course true to form, here you are. At least you didn't spoil my birthday.

As soon as I hit 'publish post' (and the person on the other side of my cubicle wall goes to lunch) I'm calling the doc.

I'm okay... I thought it would be hard this month but I think making the decision to seek out the doctors help this month is easing the "mourning" process if you will. And of course I have my birthday to look forward to. As I mentioned before I'm hoping for some birthday money so I can buy an ov watch but part of me is thinking of holding off a little until I see the doc would better.

To recap... I have a regular 28-30 day cycle, every month.... Feb. '08 was the last time I had an odd cycle of 42 days and got a couple of BFN.

I don't know why but I feel as though because I'm so regular, know I ovulate (positive OPKs), maybe my tubes are blocked? I have pretty bad cramping every month but with ibuprofen and my heating pad on my back I'm generally good to go. This month I took 2 OPK and the first one was dead on, CD 17... I knew it would be positive, the second I took a.m. on CD 18 and it was strong but not the bright line I had CD 17.

A list of all the things I have tried to date (*things I still do regularly):
- reflexology
- BBT
- saliva scope
*- I track my cycles on fertility friend
*- OPK
*- CM tracking
*- chiropractor (always have always will, love our chiro!)
*- naturopathic doc
- TCM (6 months)
- then took a break from that and tried Fertil Aid (5 months)
- BD over third day, or every other day through "window" this month considering BD twice a week all month long
- fertility yoga
*- since April 1 taking yoga twice a week at a local yoga studio
*- acupuncture
after BDing I stay on my back, rolled up beach towel under my hips, knees bent, min. 20 minutes as was suggested by my reflexologist.

We started TTC Sept. 2007 but have taken 2 breaks in there of a couple months off at a time.

I just have to shake my head sometimes and wonder if I will EVER have the thrill and excitement of seeing a positive on those pregnancy test pee strips. I know I will be a mom someday, I feel like one already in some ways (I know it might seem silly but we refer to each other as mom and dad when talking to the dog... "go see daddy!" - yes I know we are one of those crazy dog loving couples, but thank god for him as he puts a smile on our faces everyday... unconditional love and puppy dog eyes are the best).

Anyways it's after 1:30, doc's receptionists should be back at the phone in just minutes!

update
Appointment booked: May 1 first thing in the morning! *big sigh* that feels like a load off already