Wednesday, March 10

i think i'm ok

...my husband is more then a little worried about me going to visit my little sister and meet my new and one and only nephew. He has every right to be worried as it's been him who's had to pick me up off the floor on those absolutely awful days when someone else's news of a baby has left me a sobbing puddle of tears. Not that it's happened a lot but when if you're been reading for a while you know that I cut my sister off for awhile... deleted her from my FB friends list and hadn't talked to her in a handful of months.

I can't say I'm 100% sure I will get through this without shedding a tear but I hope it will be more happy tears then sad. Having my "practically" big sister there will also help ease me into this visit as she'll be with me the first couple of days and then it'll be 1.5 days and I'll be back on a plane for home. And when it's photo shoot time for the pictures that will include all three of them together I'm pretty confident my artists/photo business side will click in and take over the session.

I wish I had a refuge to escape if I need to but I don't really have anyone in the area I could call on for help in order to slip away from it all. So I must keep my head above water and stay positive that this trip will be better then I could expect and I will survive it all.

3 more sleeps!

2 comments:

NaVe said...

Wishing you luck! I know how hard it is to see others having babies when you want it so badly and just can't seem to get there... we are in the same boat my friend. Be strong, be present, and I'm sure it will work out great! Good luck again! Don't forget to use your twitter gals as a refuge if you start to feel suffocated or anxious. We are here for that purpose! :D

Fertility Chick said...

Wishing you luck here too! Do you have access to the Internet so you could blog/go on twitter if you needed some 'virtual' support? Know I'll be thinking about you -- hope that it turns into an absolutely wonderful time together!