Day 9

Well it finally happened I ran into what we'll call an old friend/colleague/coworker. We originally worked together at one of my first jobs which started as a co-op and our friendship took off, we did everything together. She a single mom, myself a young and impressionable woman wanting to get to work and make a good impression. So we ended up starting a little business on the side while we where working together, not long after I learned my contract was coming to an end and I'd be moving on to other things. And I decided I'd jump 2 feet first into running our little business. Ultimately I made the decision that I couldn't run this business with her in it because I needed to make it work on my terms and not worry about having to pay her her share when I'm relying solely on the income to look after myself. And I had a sense that she was starting to think she had groomed me for lack of a better word into the 'young business woman' that I was. Which is ridiculous because not only did I do everything to start our business (minus doing the logo personally) but I also had started a business at only 17 years old in my hometown amongst other achievements in my young career. Anyways I'm getting off track. So I had 'the talk' and told her I needed to go it on my own to which she informed me if I ever did 'this' (start a division of the business that had always been her dream) she'd drag my name through the mud in this city that I'd never be able to find work. Nice eh?! So as time passed after I left that work place we saw each other less and less. She met a guy, I met a guy and she married her guy in a surprise wedding to which I didn't know I was suppose to be there taking the pictures because I was with my guy and we where suppose to be up north visiting his friends (but I ended up sick and he took care of me all weekend).

So it finally happened, this was almost 3 years ago and I finally ran into her at the print business we both still use. I was shocked, I gave her a brief hug, good to see you was said, I said how are you and she said good, I admired her little girl (1 1/2 yrs. old now) and then carried on with my business at the printers. She never once asked me 'how are you doing??'

I've gone through ups and downs of worrying about running into this woman, sometimes wishing we where still friends, sometimes thanking god we aren't but if anything I do realize this, she came into my life for a short time to teach me something about myself. I didn't like who I became when I was with her. Someone who would look down on other people that weren't dressed just right or heavy, someone who would gossip about others, someone who put their whole self worth on how well I was dressed or how slim I was....... It didn't feel good that other friends kept their distance when I was around her and that I actually fought with one of my closer friends over something I did that was completely and totally wrong and hurtful for me to do to her. I hadn't hurt someone that way since grade school when I told a guy I liked that he deserved better then the girl he was dating. Sick! But when I walked into the printers and saw her standing there all I wanted was to be thin, for her to see me thin because this would mean (in her eyes) I was doing great. But I couldn't tell her (because she didn't even care to ask) I married an awesome man, we are so in love, we bought a house and we're going to start a family someday, and I have so many people in my life that believe in me just as I am and I feel good about just being me. I couldn't tell her because she didn't even care to ask. I'm not going to beat myself up about trying to figure out what she's thinking and why things happened the way they did. I guess if anything I served a purpose in her life too and now........... That time has passed.

Foods Eaten
10:30am
NV PB bar - 5pts

1:30pm
Burger on 1/2 a bun w/cheese - 9pts
Multi-grain chips - 5pts

8:30pm
bbq chicken - 2pts
ceasar salad - 3pts

Water - 64fl.oz. of 99.4

Total Points: 25pts (allowed 24/day - 5/35 weekly allowance used)