we've had a very productive day to say the least. up early to get the grocery shopping done and then off to the clinic and then treated ourselves to a little shopping/road trip. My sweet husband wanted me to have some new shirts and also some new tanks and better stuff for my yoga efforts. Told you he's a sweetie!
So let's just get to it... the fertility clinic... busy spot on a sunday a.m. Our appointment was at 10am and the RN had to break from us a few times to take blood and speak to 4 women that where coming in for their cycle monitoring. Now I should explain this fertility clinic didn't really have a waiting room, no receptionist... it was just a tiny office/apartment in one of the century homes turned offices across the street from the hospital. Crazy thing is this is the closest fertility clinic for so many couples who are struggling to conceive... one couple that popped in had driven almost 3 hours. And the RN was very honest about the doctors that are a part of the clinic... not out to make money from their patients but to just help couples conceive. And this shows in their pricing. I think I mentioned before an IUI was only $200. And luckily the Ontario government covers all the blood work, u/s, HSG & lap among others that I'm sure I'm not really aware of.
Between all the interruptions we managed to get all the details down about our histories and some other details. The RN also decided to take my blood as I told her my ov watch told me ovulation was yesterday and all in all it wasn't so bad. I've asked to be scheduled for an HSG and basically I'm looking at October... I think for now I'm going to hold off on the cycle monitoring and just get the HSG out of the way. Basically I could be late for work a few times with the cycle monitoring and I don't want to add that stress to my routine right now.. I've got a pretty stress inducing boss lady and I can't go to her with this and ask for her understanding... honestly I'd probably end up loosing my job. It would be the perfect excuse for her to show me the door before we'd even have the chance to get that BFP of our own. DH admitted that the appointment wasn't so bad and passing him my iphone to play with kept him busy when other women where popping in for their blood work.
As we headed south for a little shopping and lunch date my husband did say that he is feeling disappointed that his swimmers are a little slow but I immediately reminded him that he does have them.. they do exist and that is huge because the other options are just beyond what we as a couple are willing to take on. I told him about donor sperm and immediately he said "well then technically they wouldn't be mine". Some guys would be okay with this but not my husband and he did say if we can't have our own child then he would much rather pursue adoption then continue down the fertility clinic road and I couldn't agree with him more. I want very much to have a child with my husband and if that is not one that is of our own making then we would want to pursue adoption.
But all that said I don't think we won't have our own biological child I just think we haven't gotten things just right yet... so we'll keep on trucking, using the ov watch, scheduling the HSG and waiting till we have to make our next step or decision.
sorry if this post seems a bit scattered... I'm feeling very blessed at this point for where we're at in this process and there are some blogs that I follow that have received some upsetting news this week. I part of me just wishes so much that they where in this same place but I know we all have our own paths to follow and I know in my heart that each of these women, these couples will become parents. And I also know we may still have a long road ahead of us but each day I'm stressing a little bit less and just accepting that this is just a process, a journey and as soon as we close one chapter we'll be onto another.