Thursday, August 27

a good kinda tired...

I am pooped today... I happy tired but tired and thinking I'm not going to do my crazy 2 yoga classes in a row Thursday night, night.

Last night's kick my ass yoga class involved sprints... sprints up hill... 3 of them. Then I also took Daytona for a walk when I got home.

So back to last nights class... it was the first time I actually was brave enough to bring my sneakers as usually I just stay at the studio while the rest of the group goes out for the run part. So I laced up my sneakers like everyone else and off we went... it was funny because for the first time I actual started to feel like a part of this kick your ass yoga class group. I trust A. completely and she was excited that I had decided to join them outside too. So sprinting it is and I felt GREAT! I got lots of encouragement from the other ladies... no guys there that night and even 1 woman said I had been doing great with the class. I've been going 3 weeks now and I'm super excited for the fall as A. has decided to put a 3rd class on the weekly schedule for the kick your ass yoga class. wooohooo!!! It feels good to have found something I enjoy, something that I don't dread going to and a place where I feel strong enough to just do what I am capable of on any given day and know that that is enough and still a job well done!

A. was first a photo client of mine and then a graphic/web client. I've been to her son's birthday parties and annual Christmas gatherings. I've been the pregnancy, tot and family photographer. She has been such an amazing person in my life and also someone who has struggled with fertility.

Over these last 5+ years we've known each other she has never once pushed me to come to a yoga class or be healthier. I think that she's just been waiting until I was ready and when I told her I was I knew it was game on and it has been exactly that! Sure my eating isn't exactly fabulous but feeling better inside and out equates to eating better and it's all been a process for me. I'm not a weight loss scale watcher and my progress is simply based on how I feel today... what fits better then last month or last year. I'm just taking each day on one day at a time. Being better then the day before will mean a lifestyle change that I've been growing into vs the abrupt changes and diets and exercise programs I've tried and failed at REPEATEDLY in my life. I can see myself 6 months from now still practising yoga, becoming better and stronger in all areas of my life and I can see myself still doing these things as my family grows, as we wait for that baby to grow in my belly, as we find our way as new parents, finally getting to that place of healthy living and choosing the walk around the block over the show on t.v. that night.

I was thinking about all these things last night as I rushed home to let Daytona out and get a walk in. How for so many months/years before right now I had always said I wanted to loose weight before getting pregnant but I just couldn't bring myself to do it... to do it the way I thought it needed to be done and so I kept failing, never once being strong enough to make the changes, defeated before I could even begin. And now without realizing it I have finally kind of made it... I've done enough to have made progress without monitoring my progress and feeling frustrated having not seen the changes I thought the me of 1 year ago should have seen. I'm finally further up the road to being a better me then I was and I didn't realize I had been doing it. I feel like I'm over the hump of how do I make me a priority? I've done it... I've scheduled the time and although I know there is no finish line per say on this journey I know I've come far enough now that I'm not going to loose myself again.

I hope that makes sense to anyone that's bared with me long enough to read it all. I could probably go on and on and on but I promised my DH that I'd book our camp site etc for our little holiday we're taking in September.

Happy Thursday and Nameste! :-)

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