massage

I had a wonderful all over body massage today... yummy! My RMT is also a friend, a single childless friend but someone who I can count on to give me a point of view that perhaps I can't yet see and tonight she did just that. She span this whole thing around for me and said "why don't you look at it this way.... the pressure is completely off of you now"

And she is right... we don't have to be the first and now that we are not, it is kind of like one less stress. sort of... I'm mulling this point of view over for now. lol

I did shed a few tears while I was on her table but only because I know it's a safe place... like I've already said this just all feels like a really bad dream.

I've booked an appointment for July 2, it's kinda far away but still at least I know it's coming up and I can focus on making it through these next few weeks until I can see her.

I haven't heard from my mom, dad or step mom yet nor have I bothered to call. I guess I'm just going to avoid them for a little while. Maybe they're thinking nothing of it but I can't imagine my dad would be so thick... he's got to know this is hurting me. Maybe no one knows exactly what to say right now?... who knows, maybe they'd all just tell me I'm over reacting and to just be happy for her but I can't... not yet, maybe never, not really and truly happy.