Wednesday, July 29

melt down

last night was not good.. through a serious of events within a really short time span I had reached my limit for the day/week/month and lost it. One of those crazy throw something, charge away, slam door and sobbing, can't get it out fast enough, can't breath bouts of crying.

my husband is amazing, came to my rescue, holding me and comforting me on the bathroom floor as I sobbed. we both are hurting this month more then I would have ever guessed. my sister and her facebook status updates talking about her 'boo' and 'baby in my belly' are just too much to take and I don't need these unwelcomed reminders about her pregnancy. I blocked her on FB... little worried about possible fall out from that but I can NOT stand it any longer and she's only 11 weeks... I want to be pregnant and we want to start our family more and more as each day passes... maybe it's the 2 year mark that's breathing down my back that makes it such an emotional month... I thought I was OK... honest I did but even my husband sensed something wasn't right before I had even figured it out last night.

today I feel a little sick... like the crying wasn't enough... still more bubbling at the surface... my body is aching and tired. I wish I could be at home curled up in bed instead of this stuck feeling I have while trying to get something done at work from behind my cubicle walls.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am no stranger to those breakdowns. Seeing people around you who are pregnant while having to deal with IF is gut wrenching at times. *hugs*